I just got this question about how to handle an ex who wants to be “friends” and wanted to share it with you because it’s a REALLY common situation. Krystal asks: “So my ex just wants to be friends and when I sent him some of the suggested texts he said he was concerned that I’m expecting more. I convinced him I am fine with being just friends and in fact agree that the break-up was a good idea but I enjoy our good times. I saw him tonight and he said I looked “well.” Is there ANY hope for me?

A couple things: 1. Great job being flippant and “OK.” with being friends. The key with working the Text Your Ex Back program is plausible deniability. You’ve got to keep your ex on his toes and wondering what he heck you’re actually trying to do. As long as he’s curious and confused you’re doing it right. 2. Yup. There’s hope for you, but there’s no guarantee. There’s never a guarantee of success in this situation.

Love your “I agree, the breakup was a good idea” bit. 3. That said: Don’t actually BE his friend. If you actually ARE his friend (if he can actually get emotional support from you) there will be no actual need for him to come back to you. Like I like to say “The only way to get him back is to let him go.” So keep doing what you’re doing. Take care of yourself. Date other guys. And use Text Judo to let him know how happy and stable you are.

Then occasionally send him a message that confuses the heck of him and starts reestablishing emotional hooks. Oh, and whatever you do DO NOT SLEEP WITH A GUY YOU WANT TO GET BACK. Seriously, if you do that you’ll kill your chances. (Weirdly, if you’re a guy who wants a woman back, you want to sleep with her as quickly as possible.) Great job. Let me know how it goes from here. Want to learn more about the techniques Krystal is using?